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Monday, December 19, 2005 

Anger: Men

About 15 years ago, my wife injured herself by falling out of bed and hitting her face on the table next to the bed. I woke up at the sound and found her bleeding and unconscious on the floor. I called 911 and put my Boy Scout first aid training to good use.

Now I will stop the story. How many of you thought that I was covering up for beating the stuffing out of her? Be honest.

The paramedics and ER personnel certainly thought so, so strongly that there was a very nice Sheriff Deputy waiting for me when I got to the ER. At a time when I was worried out of my mind and should have been at my wife’s side, I had to defend myself from the indefensible. It was only when she was able to communicate that I had nothing to do with it and the doctors concurred, that I was finally allowed to go to her side. I have lived under this suspicion ever since. Every ER visit for every bump, bruise or cut (she is accident prone do to a medical condition) I get the same drill. It seems that, even though I have never been charged much less convicted of abuse, I am a perpetual suspect.

Prof. Reynolds points to this interesting article. The author lists many of the ways the men are targeted for grief, but he misses my situation, the automatic assumption that a large male is guilty of the most heinous crimes until proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, innocent.

“When did you stop beating your wife?” is no longer a joke, or at least it isn’t funny anymore.

Update: Linked to basil's blog.

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