You know what men's name is totally gay?

David.

I know, I know... That's a pretty normal name. I don't mean "David" as in the dude that killed a giant, or even as in "Letterman"

I mean "David" pronounced "da-Veed".

I met this totally normal guy the other day and we started talking about some home improvement project and he comes up with this: "I was prepping the walls for paint and "da-Veed" was tearing out a wall to extend our bedroom."

So, I bet you are wondering how I reacted. I am proud to say that I just went on as normal, didn't say a thing, just kept talking about the project. It was only afterward that I broke up laughing.

Now I am asking myself, "Self, why is that funny?" Well, Self, it just is...