Shock! Horror! EVIL! Villany!

Dear Ryan,

Buddy... I understand leaving in Free Agency, ya gots ta gets PAID and all dat, but dammit man, why the stinkin' Vikings?

You could have been remembered fondly by Packer fans and welcomed back to Lambeau among cheers and well wishes if only you would have found a nice AFC team or even a NFC loser other than the stinkin' Vikings. Even the fricken Bears would have been better for you.

Didn't you learn anything from Darren Sharper last year?

Now, I have to start calling you "Ryan Short-And-Wide-Rightwell". [spit!]

Update: P.S. you are off my Xmas list. Bitch!